How Not To Save Embarassment In An Awkard Shopping Situation

Thought I'd share this little adventure with you. It is a true story which will hopefully amuse you and should at least go some way to demonstrating how crap I am at shopping.

The setting: a family holiday in Santa Ponsa, Majorca, June 2011.

The Truth Behind The Birds Who Slam Into Our Office Windows

Bird-Slamming: The Truth

I work in an office building which has a lot of large windows - huge windows in fact.

In the six years that I have worked there, it has become difficult to ignore the phenomemon that is birds slamming into the windows.

(This used to happen fairly infrequently, a couple of times a year perhaps, but in the last year or so I have noted a surge in the numbers. Nowadays, it seems as though almost every working day we see at least one bird-slam incident.)

What Happens During A Bird-Slam.

There is usually no warning when a bird is about to slam the window!.

In the moments just before the slam, everything is normal:

Then, suddenly, from nowhere, this happens:

Occasionally, there is a double slam incident:

But why is this happening? And why is it suddenly happening more and more frequently?

I've been giving the matter some thought, and,

I think I Know What's Going On:

(the end)

Alternative names for common objects.

(Sneezes wait for mascara. They lurk, unnoticed, watching and waiting. As soon as you're done with the mascara... tingle tingle, you know it's coming now, tingle tingle, you squeeze your nose to try and block it in, but it's no good you know it's coming and ACHOOOOO!)

Foot Mittens

Alternative names for common objects.

2. Foot mittens... mittens, for the feet.

Warm Paper Dispenser

Alternative names for common objects.....

1. Warm Paper Dispenser

Bad Ideas, Part4, aka The Broccoli Incident

Bad Ideas, Part 4.

(The Broccoli Incident)

Sometimes in life it's good to be prepared - to think ahead. And sometimes it's better not to bother.

Bad Ideas, Part3, aka The Bubble Gum Incident

Bad Ideas, Part 3 (The Bubble Gum Incident) Bubble gum and sleep do not mix well.